Up In My Feelings....

Dang...them feelings they get me like....dang! And I try to hide ‘em.  I try to push ‘em in the back so they don’t come out and get me all gushy!  And then they have this effect where you can only hide them for a moment, for but a temporary period of time.  And I’m like WHY? WHY YOU GOT ME UP IN MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS?

Then the breakdown comes.  STOP! Please no- I just can’t...I don’t want to.  I don’t need to be crying or breaking down like I just lost my best friend! And I’m feeling this human kinda way- where I’m ballin’ with tears melting down because my life is really something! It has really taken a curve ball yet I still smile! That’s some crazy -ish ain’t it?  LOLAM (Laughing Out Loud At Myself)...

And then I give up; say EFF-it!!!  And I just give in and let the tears just roll.  I let the feelings just go.  Why? Because if I keep holding it in like I used to, then it all builds up and I get all unhealthy! Yep- it ain’t healthy ya’ll; and stop trying to be strong and saying “I’m superwoman and I got this!”  We are women that have emotions, that have intuition, that have feelings: so let that sh- out!!!

I don’t know why we get so emotional.  We are just designed that way; that is our make up and so we deal with it like we deal with EVERYthing else.  Just so long as you are loving you in the process- because it’s not pretty when we stop caring, stop loving SELF;  and then we get up in our feelings.  That won’t go well.  Keep yourSELF healthy while you are all up in your feelings.  I know- easier said than done.  Yet you gotta stay up in this thing we call life.  Our feelings are just a small piece of this equation called Life.  And I won’t give up on it so easily (this life).  I know I’m here for a reason- for some purpose that is way beyond me!

So be up in your feelings- that is what they are there for: for you to actually FEEL- just don’t lose you in the process and stay true to you- love you as you are up in your feelings.  No it may not be the way we want it to be- however it is what it is and we just flow as we go.  Life is...that way...  

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April Smith